suwudo.py

#!/usr/bin/env python3

# These may be edited to your liking
import os
import platform
import random
import shutil
import subprocess
import sys
import time
from datetime import datetime
from multiprocessing import Pool
from statistics import variance
from typing import Dict, List, Set, Tuple

# This is the list of custom insults. You may replace any one of them.
# Unicode etc. should work if your terminal supports it. Mine does.

_custom_insults: List[str] = [
    # Default insults
    "Take one of your stress pills and think things over :D ",
    "If only you used more than just two fingers... :D",

    # Gir-ify-ed default insults
    "Just what do you think you're doing ✨Emily✨? (　◕‿◕✿)",
    "I'm sorry, but that's something I cannot allow to happen ^-^",

    "Are you on drugs? No. Seriously. Are you?",
    "🦦 My pet ferret can type better than you! <3",

    "You silly twisted girl you 💞",

    # Custom insults
    "Love you <3",
    "Not today girl!",
    "uwu :3",
    "ʘwʘ",
    "Ouch ÕwÕ",
    "Hey Emily~",
    "uwu ^-^",
    "Please don't hit the keyboard so hard 🥺",
    "🥺 P- Please? 🥺 👉👈 🥺",

    # Big emojis
    """With love 💗
 /)   /)
( ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ )
/ づ  づ ~ 💖\
""",

    """\
/)  /)
( •-• ) <(i want a hug pwease 💖)
/づづ\
    """,

    """\
 /\\___/\\
꒰ ˶• ༝ - ˶꒱
./づ~ ♥
you deserve this ! ♥""",

]

static_mapping = {
    b"""We trust you have received the usual lecture from the local System
Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:

    #1) Respect the privacy of others.
    #2) Think before you type.
    #3) With great power comes great responsibility.
""":
        b"""We twust that u weceived the uwusuwal wecture fwom the local System
Adwinistwator. It uwusualy boils down to thees thwee things:

    #1) wespect the pwivacy of others.
    #2) Think before u type.
    #3) With gweat power comes gweat wesponsibiwity.
""",
}

### DON'T EDIT ###


all_insults = [
    b"Just what do you think you're doing Dave?",
    b"It can only be attributed to human error.",
    b"That's something I cannot allow to happen.",
    b"My mind is going. I can feel it.",
    b"Take a stress pill and think things over.",
    b"This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.",
    b"I feel much better now.",
    b"And you call yourself a Rocket Scientist!",
    b"Where did you learn to type?",
    b"Are you on drugs?",
    b"My pet ferret can type better than you!",
    b"Do you think like you type?",
    b"Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?",
    b"Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...",
    b"BOB says:  You seem to have forgotten your passwd, enter another!",
    b"stty: unknown mode: doofus",
    b"Listen, burrito brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.",
    b"I've seen penguins that can type better than that.",
    b"Have you considered trying to match wits with a rutabaga?",
    b"You speak an infinite deal of nothing",
    b"He has fallen in the water!",
    b"We'll all be murdered in our beds!",
    b"You can't come in. Our tiger has got flu",
    b"I don't wish to know that.",
    b"You'll starve!",
    b"... and it used to be so popular...",
    b"Have a gorilla...",
    b"There must be cure for it!",
    b"You do that again and see what happens...",
    b"Ying Tong Iddle I Po",
    b"Harm can come to a young lad like that!",
    b"You gotta go owwwww!",
    b"I have been called worse.",
    b"It's only your word against mine.",
    b"I think ... err ... I think ... I think I'll go home",
    b"You silly, twisted boy you.",
    b"Wrong!  You cheating scum!",
    b"I wish to make a complaint.",
    b"You type like i drive.",
    b"Sorry about this, I know it's a bit silly.",
    b"What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?",
    b"You can't get the wood, you know.",
    b"Pauses for audience applause, not a sausage",
    b"Hold it up to the light --- not a brain in sight!",
    b"There's a lot of it about, you know.",
    b"And with that remarks folks, the case of the Crown vs yourself was proven",
    b"Speak English you fool --- there are no subtitles in this scene.",
    b"I can't hear you -- I'm using the scrambler.",
    b"The more you drive -- the dumber you get.",
    b"That is no basis for supreme executive power!",
    b"You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!",
    b"I fart in your general direction!",
    b"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!",
    b"You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!",
    b"I wave my private parts at your aunties!",
    b"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!",
    b"When you're walking home tonight, and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!",
    b"This man, he doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning, either. He has no... sort of... sensory apparatus...",
    b"There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.",
    b"I'm very sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.",
]

# Sort the existing lists, so we can abuse that for the algorithm
custom_insults = sorted([item.encode() for item in _custom_insults], key=len)
all_insults = sorted([item for item in all_insults], key=len)

# Will stop the algorithm after ↓ unsuccessful attempts
stop_after_iterations = 45

# Set the seed to something preselected. This will guarantee a good mapping.
random.seed(8557)


def find_mapping_random_improvement() -> Dict[bytes, bytes]:
    """
    This algorithm is kinda shitty. I'll leave it here to compare against.
    """
    insult_nums = [0 for _ in range(len(custom_insults))]
    solution: Dict[int, Set[int]] = {i: set() for i in range(len(custom_insults))}
    back_mapping = {i: 0 for i in range(len(all_insults))}

    insult_nums[0] = len(all_insults)
    solution[0] = set(range(len(all_insults)))

    i = 0
    while i < stop_after_iterations:
        to_improve = random.randint(0, len(all_insults) - 1)
        new_index = random.randint(0, len(custom_insults) - 1)

        if len(all_insults[to_improve]) < len(custom_insults[new_index]):
            continue

        prev_var = variance(insult_nums)
        insult_nums[back_mapping[to_improve]] -= 1
        insult_nums[new_index] += 1
        cur_var = variance(insult_nums)

        if cur_var > prev_var:
            # Undo the mistake
            insult_nums[back_mapping[to_improve]] += 1
            insult_nums[new_index] -= 1
            i += 1
            continue

        i = 0
        solution[back_mapping[to_improve]].remove(to_improve)
        solution[new_index].add(to_improve)

        back_mapping[to_improve] = new_index

    mapping = {}
    for k, row in solution.items():
        for index in row:
            mapping[all_insults[index]] = custom_insults[k]

    return mapping


def find_mapping_random_guesses() -> Dict[bytes, bytes]:
    assert len(custom_insults) < len(all_insults)

    mapping: Dict[bytes, bytes] = {}
    possible: List[int] = [i for i in range(len(custom_insults))]
    cutoff = 0
    weights = [1 for _ in range(len(custom_insults))]

    for old in all_insults:
        while cutoff < len(custom_insults):
            if len(custom_insults[cutoff]) > len(old):
                break
            cutoff += 1

        chosen_index = random.choices(possible[:cutoff], weights[:cutoff], k=1)[0]
        weights[chosen_index] /= 5
        mapping[old] = custom_insults[chosen_index]

    return mapping


mapping_algorithm = find_mapping_random_guesses


def _wasted_space(seed: int) -> Tuple[int, int, int]:
    random.seed(seed)
    mapping = mapping_algorithm()
    lst = list(mapping.values())
    nums = [lst.count(item) for item in custom_insults]
    return seed, sum(len(item) for item in mapping.keys()) - sum(len(item) for item in mapping.values()), variance(nums)


def bruteforce_random_seed() -> None:
    s = time.perf_counter()
    with Pool(16) as ex:
        nums = ex.map(_wasted_space, range(30000))

    min_var = min(nums, key=lambda x: x[2])[2]
    best = sorted(nums, key=lambda x: x[1] if x[2] == min_var else 999999)[0]
    print(f"Done in {time.perf_counter() - s:.3f}s")
    print(f"Seed is {best[0]}")

    random.seed(best[0])
    mapping = mapping_algorithm()
    wasted_space = sum(len(item) for item in mapping.keys()) - sum(len(item) for item in mapping.values())
    nums = [list(mapping.values()).count(item) for item in custom_insults]

    print(f"Seed: {best[0]}, variance: {variance(nums):.3f}, wasted space: {wasted_space}")
    print(nums)

    exit(0)


def show_hist() -> None:
    import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
    plt.hist([len(item.decode()) for item in all_insults])
    plt.hist([len(item) for item in custom_insults], color="r")
    plt.show()


def install_distro_package() -> None:
    try:
        import distro
    except ImportError:

        print("""You linux distribution may have a deviating path for the `sudoers.so` file.
    If your distribution is in the following you *will* have to install it for the executable to be installed.
    
    {"Fedora"}
    
    If you do not install the package I will go with the default path.
    Is that okay? [y/n]""")

        while True:
            choice = input()
            if choice in {"y", "n"}:
                break
            print('You choice is not in the expected: {"y", "n"}.')

        if choice == "n":
            print("Alright. I will stick with `/usr/lib/sudo/sudoers.so` for the path.")
            return

        exit_code = subprocess.check_call([sys.executable, "-m", "pip", "install", "distro"])
        if exit_code:
            print("\033[1;91mError!\033[0m Something went wrong while installing the package. Aborting!")
            exit(exit_code)


def main() -> None:
    if platform.system() == "Windows":
        print("Your operating system is not supported.")
        exit(1)

    install_distro_package()
    import distro

    # Distro agnostic sudoers path
    sudoers_path = "/usr/lib/sudo/sudoers.so"
    lectured_file = f"/var/db/sudo/lectured/{os.environ['USER']}"

    dist = distro.like() or distro.id()

    if dist == "fedora":
        sudoers_path = "/usr/libexec/sudo/sudoers.so"

    elif dist == "debian":
        lectured_file = f"/var/lib/sudo/lectured/{os.environ['USER']}"

    # Back up the file
    sudo_backup_path = os.path.join(os.path.expanduser("~"), ".cache", "sudo")
    sudo_backup_file_time = os.path.join(sudo_backup_path, "sudoers.so.bak." + str(int(datetime.now().timestamp())))
    sudo_backup_file = os.path.join(sudo_backup_path, "sudoers.so.bak")

    os.makedirs(sudo_backup_path, exist_ok=True)
    shutil.copyfile(sudoers_path, sudo_backup_file_time)
    if os.path.exists(sudo_backup_file):
        os.unlink(sudo_backup_file)

    os.symlink(sudo_backup_file_time, os.path.join(sudo_backup_path, "sudoers.so.bak"))

    # Now the real fun begins
    with open(sudoers_path, "rb") as f:
        content = f.read()

    # show_hist()
    # bruteforce_random_seed()

    mapping = mapping_algorithm()
    mapping |= static_mapping

    mapping = {k: v.ljust(len(k)) for k, v in mapping.items()}

    # Make sure that sudo won't crash afterwards
    for k, v in mapping.items():
        assert len(v) == len(k)

    # Replace all old strings with new opes in *only 1 pass*
    # Copied from https://stackoverflow.com/a/15175239

    # Unfortunately this produced wrong code. I don't know why.
    # regex = re.compile(b"(%s)" % b"|".join(map(re.escape, mapping.keys())))
    # content = regex.sub(lambda mo: mapping[mo.string[mo.start():mo.end()]], content)

    for old, new in mapping.items():
        content = content.replace(old, new)

    new_nums = {custom_insult.decode(): content.count(custom_insult) for custom_insult in custom_insults}

    print("\nI've achieved the following distribution:\n")
    print("{")
    for st, count in new_nums.items():
        print(f"    {st}: {count},")
    print("}")

    with open("./sudoers.so", "wb") as f:
        f.write(content)

    # Install the file and remove lecture prompt
    os.system(f"sudo cp ./sudoers.so {sudoers_path}")
    os.system(f"sudo rm -f {lectured_file} &>/dev/null | cat")

    print("Installed successfully")


# Future ideas
# - sudo terminates after 3 wrong attempts
# - Bring this to the arch user repository
# - ansible config

if __name__ == '__main__':
    main()