The rose gold iPhone is not gay!.txt

With the new iPhone 6S,
Apple has added sleek new features and an array of colors.
Including rose gold.
The reaction of our users has been louder than ever.
We've listened, and are pleased to announce:
The rose gold iPhone is not gay.
The iPhone 6S is the most powerful and least gay smartphone on earth.
It comes in a wide variety of other colors
Including Blow Torch.
Raw Meat.
And Scraped Knee.
Do those sounds like gay colors?
Because they're not.
Why does it matter if a PHONE seems gay or not?
I mean, I'm gay and I can still do my job.
We shouldn't even be having a conversa---
Our new processor makes Apple Maps faster than ever.
Allowing you to easily find everything.
From strip clubs.
To a... Hummer dealership.
To Adam Carolla's house.
The 6S introduces 3D touch
Use it to zoom in on photos of Mila Kunis
Or edit pictures of that girl from the Blurred Lines video with ease.
[Tim Cook] "I thought the Rose Gold iPhone would be dope to have but now I think it would be to gay for a man to have tbh"
"Debating whether I should get the Rose Gold iPhone 6S or would that be gay?"
I-I... w-we're not engaging these people, are--
Our updated hands-free Siri allows you to activate her by voice.
Hey Siri, where's the nearest...
I-I don't know, bow and arrow... store.
[Siri] I'm sorry. I'm unable to find that right now.
Wow. She sounds hot.
You know what? It's a pink phone!
IT'S A PINK. PHONE!
And if your sexuality can't handle that, get a fuckin' Android!
I don't want your money.
Have fun with your LG, motherfuckers. COOK. OUT!
The Rose Gold iPhone 6S.
Do you guys watch Top Gear?
It's like, my favorite show.
(Why don't you have the Rose Gold iPhone?)
Oh. I'm a top.
Hello! I'm Siobhan from CollegeHumor.
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